This spring we finally got to see two movies that have been in production purgatory for so very long: Morbius and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: The Secrets of Dumbledore. These two films have so much in common, most notably that they have both officially flopped in the eyes of critics... and the general public. On April 1st, 2022, Morbius trended on Twitter worldwide as “the best movie ever” as Twitter users went all in on an April Fool’s joke. Some were even wondering if the movie itself was an April Fool's joke. On The Mad About Movies podcast, the three hosts joked that they were worried that they are now on some database of people who have seen the movie because they had to see it in theatres. Similarly, Fantastic Beasts movie goers also had to endure going to the theatre if they wanted any Dumbledore action at all. This is tricky, tricky, tricky business if you ask me!
Though Fantastic Beasts has been reported to eventually be on HBO Max in May, it doesn't help that the film didn't premiere that way. Studios deciding to force their audience to see their film on a major movie theatre screen is ableist and dismissive to those who are immunocompromised and overall nervous about being in public spaces while another variant is on the rise as we speak. To be honest, it made me uneasy when critics and movie fanatics were pushing people to see Dune in theatres because the second film hadn’t been confirmed yet. I get that they wanted to get the box office numbers up, and that the epic cinematography called for a viewing on a huge screen, but in the middle of a pandemic? With new variants on the rise? It just isn’t a good look! The last time I was in a theatre, it was the Lincoln Square AMC 13 on the Upper West Side of Manhattan to see Joker in 2019. Side note: that theatre is my favorite in all the land, and it has one of the best IMAX screens in the country. If you’re ever in New York City, I encourage you to spend a week’s worth of groceries on a single ticket for a matinee there. It won’t exactly be worth it, but the journey on the never-ending escalators make up for what money will be lost. Maybe?
Many films have jumped the tracks to premiere their films on streaming platforms like HBO Max and Netflix to ensure audience turnout – which has been proven to be successful. Everyone who has access to Netflix can just watch it from the comfort of their living rooms. I also frequently see people on the subway watching Netflix on their iPhones, just like the filmmakers intended (this is a joke, David Lynch please don’t come for me!).
The fact that these two films refused to go the streaming route hurt them. The other reasons why they flopped are a bit more nuanced.
First there is Jared Leto. His choice of films post Oscar win is very perplexing to me. I am just going to come right out and say it: his choices of films have seemed desperate, and it feels like he is still trying to “make it” and “impress” which doesn’t make any sense to me because he HAS made it, he has a literal Academy Award! Why is he trying to become a superhero? He truly shined in indie-type projects, and I wish to see more of that from him. Morbius didn’t flop financially, but with a 17% critic meter on Rotten Tomatoes, it seems like the response to the messy screenplay, the phoned-in acting, and overall underwhelming storytelling lock this in as a missed opportunity for what could have been a really cool film. Also, are we over origin stories? I’m genuinely curious. The response to this film begs the question: why are we still spending so much money on superhero movies? Sony spent 75 million dollars to produce this film. Don’t get me wrong! I love and appreciate the comic book genre. But why are we not taking that money and using it to produce original content from filmmakers or writers we haven’t yet heard from? I think it is safe to say that we could be putting 75 MILLION dollars to better use. I'm not saying no one has any other original ideas these days! There are a ton of amazing and original movies coming out this month that prove this to be true. Maybe we can just cool it with the superhero movies, eh?
Next is the Fantastic Beasts dilemma. Oy! While I loved Harry Potter as a child, I no longer hold this franchise in my heart with the same innocence as I once did. I will still hold the memories of my dad taking me to my local indie bookstore (which recently closed due to covid RIP Book Revue I loved you with my whole heart!) at midnight so we could pick up the newest Harry Potter book with such fondness. Also, does anyone else remember the smell of a new Harry Potter book? Heaven! The whole discourse with J.K Rowling's transphobia is a huge bummer. It makes me sad to grow up and find out that your heroes are flawed human beings just like everyone else.
I need to be honest here and say that we never really wanted this Fantastic Beasts spin off. When I say “we” I mean we in the Harry Potter Fandom which I am a part. As a Harry Potter scholar, I am allowed to divulge this information to you non-fandom members. I was on Tumblr in 2011 before Yahoo made it uncool, and let me tell you, I know what the public wants! The public wants a Marauders spin off! Come on! I see it every few months on Twitter or Reddit or literally anywhere on the internet. The most popular plea from the fandom is to have Adam Driver play a young Severus Snape! You want to make money with the Harry Potter Franchise? DO A MARAUDERS SPIN OFF! The ladies will go nuts, pay to see the movies, and perhaps rethink getting their Harry Potter tattoos removed because faith in humanity will have been restored! Yay! The dream scenario would be to have Chris Columbus direct it! What sets the original Harry Potter movies apart from this Fantastic Beasts franchise is that the initial movies were done with such care, such attention to detail, and you can tell by watching them today that there was real heart there. In these Fantastic Beasts films, they are rushed, the story is forgettable, and the plot is misguided. They are solely moneymakers profiting off the Harry Potter name, and they don’t have the same crux (excuse this wording…) of plot that the original movies and books did. It is astounding to me that J.K Rowling wrote the screenplays for the Fantastic Beasts films because they are so totally different than the original Harry Potter ones. It almost feels like someone else wrote them entirely.
One last complaint: The franchise is called Fantastic Beasts, why are we centering in on Dumbledore’s private sex life? Is it because it’s interesting? Or is it because it’s a cheap idea? The filmmakers of this series need to issue Eddie Redmayne a formal apology. He deserved better than this.
The feedback from critics about these two films force us to look at the film industry as less of a place where meaningful art is distributed and more of a get rich quick factory. I so badly want to think of Hollywood as a place where films are artsy and make me think and ponder the complexity of the human condition. But with overly produced movies like Morbius and Fantastic Beasts, it makes me question it all. Perhaps the two can coexist? These two films so blatantly exist solely for the purpose of making money off the backs of already established franchises. Until the Hollywood machine starts to tell stories for the purpose of telling stories, we will be constantly bombarded with just pretty faces and hollow performances.
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